Smells

Being at work today has been pure torture most the day. Why you ask? Because the bank smells like FISH. Disgusting gross fish. Everyone can smell it. But not everyone is being tortured quite like me. Because you see, I now am like a bomb sniffing dog. I can smell things miles away that most people can't, so something that everyone else can smell is 10X WORSE for me. Because of the fish smell, I am now sitting at work, nauseous. I've tried hiding in the one room here that doens't have the smell, I've breathed through my mouth like Kristen Stewart, I'm cupped my hands over my nose, I've even buried my face in my sweater so I smell my armpit. And let me tell you, IT even smells better than my office. (I mean it should, my deoderant is simply divine!) But all these things I do make the smell even stronger when I am back to smelling it. And this smell will last at least another week according to the branch manager here. You see, new insulation was put into the walls, and that is what the fish smell is. Why some shmuck would put fish-smelling insulation in the walls, I'll never know. What did they do, dip it in fish before? Gross. Even if I liked fish, I would never eat it again.

But it's not just the fish smelling grossness that is getting to me. At lunch, when I thought I'd get an hour of respite from it, I walk downstairs and by the elevators it smells like someone cooked up a little bit of death. Then I go to the bathroom where it smells like someone smoked so much they peed out the smell, finally making it to the lunchroom where I open the microwave to cook my burrito and get a face full of burning hot steamy something. And I gag.

Just send me home now so I can be at my good smelling apartment, with my good smelling husband and my good smelling things. Please. Or else I'll just do this.