Dreams last for so long.

I know I've been talking a lot about my pregnancy, but hey, it's the main thing and the most exciting thing happening in our lives right now. Well that and trying to figure out if/where I'm going to work once baby is born, who will/can take care of baby, where we are going to live, what to do with money....you know. Stressful stuff like that. But those things are for another post. This post is about my recent weird dreams.

As most pregnant gals can recall, the dreams while pregnant are CRAZY! I love them. It's like a movie everynight. I relay most of them to Sam in the morning and they are just so much fun for the most part. Some of them are even too jumbled to recall. Most are just exciting.

Here are two dreams I had recenlty that I love. The first one I had a few nights ago. I had my baby, but for some reason didn't get to look at it or anything. Sam just took it right to daycare. A lady I work with named Lourdes owned the day care. When we picked the baby up, the daycare was just in the back of Lourdes' car, which was freezing. So we got the baby and I got my first look at my little baby girl. For some reason, I didn't know it was a girl before (note: we do not know what our child is yet). So the first time I looked at her, I guess she was a few weeks old, and I was hooked. She was the most beautiful baby in the world! I remember looking at her at how perfect she was. Even though her fingers looked like Barbie fingers, long and plasticy. Anyway, that didn't bother me. I just remember holding her and feeding her and burping her. I woke up happy, but sad at the same time. And very impatient for baby to come.

My favorite dream of last night goes like this. Sam was in the military and had to go to military training. He was gone 3 weeks and home 3 weeks. That was his pattern. He asked me to start dating while he was gone to prepare us for if he went to war and died, I'd be taken care of. I didn't see anything wrong with that, so I did as he told me and went out on a date with this guy. Well I guess I must have made a big impression on this guy, because he really liked me and asked me to get more serious I guess. I didn't think anything would happen that soon so I just looked at him and said "I'm pregnant. And married." and showed him my left hand. Well this devastated the poor guy and he started to sob. So I hugged him and told him I was really sorry, but that I still loved my husband and explained to him why I even went out with him. He understood, but was super bummed. Understandably. I mean, I am a catch and I was the one who got away.

I've had way more odd dreams then this, and I should write them down because I can't remember some of them. But every night is an adventure. Let's see what tonight brings.

Smells

Being at work today has been pure torture most the day. Why you ask? Because the bank smells like FISH. Disgusting gross fish. Everyone can smell it. But not everyone is being tortured quite like me. Because you see, I now am like a bomb sniffing dog. I can smell things miles away that most people can't, so something that everyone else can smell is 10X WORSE for me. Because of the fish smell, I am now sitting at work, nauseous. I've tried hiding in the one room here that doens't have the smell, I've breathed through my mouth like Kristen Stewart, I'm cupped my hands over my nose, I've even buried my face in my sweater so I smell my armpit. And let me tell you, IT even smells better than my office. (I mean it should, my deoderant is simply divine!) But all these things I do make the smell even stronger when I am back to smelling it. And this smell will last at least another week according to the branch manager here. You see, new insulation was put into the walls, and that is what the fish smell is. Why some shmuck would put fish-smelling insulation in the walls, I'll never know. What did they do, dip it in fish before? Gross. Even if I liked fish, I would never eat it again.

But it's not just the fish smelling grossness that is getting to me. At lunch, when I thought I'd get an hour of respite from it, I walk downstairs and by the elevators it smells like someone cooked up a little bit of death. Then I go to the bathroom where it smells like someone smoked so much they peed out the smell, finally making it to the lunchroom where I open the microwave to cook my burrito and get a face full of burning hot steamy something. And I gag.

Just send me home now so I can be at my good smelling apartment, with my good smelling husband and my good smelling things. Please. Or else I'll just do this.

guest blogger- my bff8 mel

hello caitlin's blogstalkers! i'm mel, KINDA a big dealio in caitlin's life. as someone whose known kitty-cait for almost 4 years now [not including our years of immortality], i think i am kinda an expert on all things cait. in fact, that's how i met her. i just transferred to suu and i met her at a mutual friend's baby shower. she was so exciting and introduced herself as a fellow missionary-girl [definition: a sucker girlfriend to a missionary]. i asked her if i could call her cait- she said yes. now, i came to find out later she hates to be called that but too late right? we instantly became the bestest of friends! she is my yoko. and i am her john [how many girlfriends can say that?] time and space has not separated [especially granted our long history together] us.
well as most of you know, samlin is now expecting a little baby bear come july. since i the honorary fairy-mother, i thought i'd lend my lengthy knowledge about kids to caitlin. and what better way to do that then by taking knowledge right from the super source of good parenting- movies! not only am i caitlin's best friend, i've been the world's best aunt for 8 years running, and i watch more movies then a zitty teen boy at cinedome.

life lessons on parenting from the big screen

baby mama
the story of a girl who wants a baby who gets it from another girl. polar opposites become best friends.
caroline: is this chocolate or poop? chocolate or poop? [lick son's hand] it's chocolate!
kate: what if it had been poop?
lesson to learn: don't assume anything. and get used to poop. a whole lot of poop.

3 men and a baby
three best friends living together. one fathers child, the other two take care of it. the baby's mama eventually moves in with the dudes.
peter: babies. all they do is eat, sleep, and poop.
lesson to learn: it's nice to know what you are getting yourself into.

homefries
boy falls in love with his father's mistress who is pregnant with his step-brother.
childbirth instructor: you didn't get pregnant with our legs crossed!
lesson to learn: don't let the flame go out after the baby.

juno
teenage girl gets knocked up, gives her baby up for adoption, and eventually falls for her baby's daddy.
juno: bren, when do i get that spinal tap thing?
bren: it's called a spinal block. and you can't have it yet, honey. the doctor said you're not dilated enough.
juno: you mean i have to wait for it to get worse? why can't they just give it to me now?
bren: well honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream...
lesson to learn: take the drugs. always take the drugs.

look who's talking
a former mistress finds her soul mate post-baby in the arms of a taxi driver.
mikey: [immediately after he's born] put me back in! put me back in!
lesson to learn: this is why babies cry. you took them from their warm, cushy, and pink life where everything was gooey and wonderful. how. dare. you.

father of the bride II
mother and daughter's egos are preggo at the same time and george banks goes crazy.
matty: how would you like to go through life with the name cooper banks-mackenzie? this kid's gonna sound like a law firm.
lesson to learn: don't pick a name lame for the future baby. it'll stick with them for-ev-ver [said in a tone like the fat kid from the sandlot]

waitress
an unhappy, pie-making wife has an affair with a doctor while pregnant. she leaves the husband once the baby is born, ditches her mister, and opens a pie shop.
jenna: Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness to it.
lesson to learn: love big. love fully. love often. never be afraid to love.

where the heart is
a teenage girl is abandoned and gives birth in a walmart. rebuilds a life and learns how to love.
lexie: this old gypsy woman once told me that if you jump backwards nine times before the sun come up you won't be pregnant. Well, I jumped so far I had to take a bus back and then I had twins.
lesson to learn: playing baby roulette is a risky game. losers end up losing for 18 years.

honorable mention
16 and pregnant & teen mom

stupid girls have pre-marital sex with men who can barely tie their own shoelaces. they think the baby will fix their problems.

author unknown: it'll be like having a baby doll to dress up every day

author unknown: yeah but you can't prevent pregnancy

lesson to learn: get married when you're not a teen to the right man in the right place at the right time.

you know that girl caitlin tappana? ya, she's my bestest friend, the cheese to my fries, the banana to my shake, the mellow to my yellow. not only does she have the best hair [no matter the time of day] but she's also a fabulous runner, a wonderful cook, the funniest person i know, a great writer, and the bestest friend i have ever had. oh, and the world's best mama bear.

Baby, Baby, Baby Oh!

So, now the word is out. I, Caitlin Marie Tappana, am going to have a baby. I still have a hard time believing it. It just feels like I have an extended flu. But yesterday Sam and I were able to see our little baby for the first time and hear the heartbeat. It was amazing. I can't believe there is a living thing inside me. And I love it. It still seems unreal, like I was looking at someone elses baby. But infact it is our baby, mine and Sams, Forever.

Athough I'm so so happy, there are some parts of pregnancy I dislike at the moment. I know they will get better soon. But...

Things I dislike about being pregnant:

• Throwing up. It's the WORST
• Not being able to eat the same food more than once. Sam gets a lot of leftovers
• The small amount of heartburn I have had so far. I know it will just get worse.
• Lack of energy. Poor Sam. I'm such a boring wife right now.
• Getting up 2 times in the night to potty. Actually...that was pretty normal before I was pregnant...
• Walking along and smelling something HORRIBLE and having to put my hands to my nose so I don't gag or throw up. I've had a few close calls.

But there are also some things I do love about being pregnant, and I know things will just get better.

Things I love about pregnancy:

• If I want something, I tell Sam that baby wants something. Works like a charm. (usually)
• People are so nice to me when they find out I'm pregnant.
• I get to see and soon feel a miracle growing inside me.
• I soon get a whole new wardrobe. A great excuse to go shopping.
• I have more reason to keep myself healthy. Now that I have a baby, I want it to be healthy too so I find I want to work out more and eat healthier. I hope it lasts!
• Now when I see babies and become baby hungry, I know soon I'll have my own.
• Right now I have a good reason to go home after work and put sweats on for the night. :)
• Fast food is on my "GROSS: DO NOT EAT" list, and yes it's on the things I love because it's saving money and calories!
• I've found out even more what a GREAT husband Sam is.

So really, all in all pregnancy is awesome. Mel, if you're reading this, I think it's time you join the bandwagon.

My Grandma

Less then a month after my granny died my grandma Betty Bingham, the last living grandparent I had, passed away on January 10,2011. It was very hard to take so close to losing my granny, especially because it happend so suddenly. We thought she was very healthy and would live a few more years, but Heavenly Father had other plans for her and called her home. I am thankful for the life of my grandma. She was a very sweet dear lady. She was the only grandparent that didn't have Alzehimer's, and for that I am very thankful. My grandpa died 7 years before her, so she has lived alone for a long time. She was ready to be back with her sweetheart again I'm sure. She lived a wonderful life, full of happiness and left good memories behind. I'd like to focus on the a few of the happy times I, along with other members of my family, share.

• She used to babysit my brother Erik and I. She always made us Spaghettio's cooked on the stove top, not microwaved. (they did have a different taste) and we always drank Sunny D with it. She also had a movie we would watch every time called On Our Own. We loved it.
• One time she was babysitting us, we went to a playground without telling her. After we gave her a heartattack, she found us. I don't remember what our punishment was, but I do know she was very relived that we were ok.
• When I went to SLCC, I had a math class that started at 7. I would park my car at the trax on 39th south and right after work I would go to her house. We would have a nummy dinner together and just talk. I didn't realize then how special those times would be to me now.
• My granpa and grandma would always keep gingersnaps around. If we asked, of course they would give us one. But sometimes we thought it would be more fun to sneak them. I'm sure they knew what were were doing...kids aren't as sneaky as they think they are. Especially when the cookie jar would clink. But they never 'caught' us or said anything. They acted obivious.
• My grandma made the best fruit salad for Thanksgiving and other family gatherings. It had the flavored marshmallows and apples and cherries and all sorts of yummy fruit in it.
• She collected porcelain dolls and benie babies and displayed them around her home.
• She was one of the first people I told about my baby the day after I found out. She was very happy for me.
• When she was younger, she always told me she LOVED to shop. She would work and as soon as she got her paycheck, her and her girlfriends would go shopping right away and she would blow almost her whole check. She especially loved shoes. I know where I get it from.
• One of my favorite things about my grandma is she LOVED Harry Potter, just like I do. She read all 7 of the books and saw most the movies. I was pretty sad when I realized she would never see the 7th movie. My sister, grandma, and I would always talk about the books and how awesome they were. It was great sharing something I love so much with my grandma.

There is so much more about my grandma I love. This just brushes the surface. I know I'll see her again someday and until then her, along with my other grandparents, are watching over me and my family. I love you grandma. See you again someday!

2010: Recapped

*No pictures can be included in this post. Our computer is on it's last...key...and won't turn on.

This past year of 2010 has been one to remember for the Tappana’s. We had our ups and downs, hard times and wonderful times, and made great memories along the way. Here is a recap of this year.

In January we both went back to school. Sam at LDSBC working on his Business Transfer degree, and I decided to try my hand at the U doing English Literature. Sam also started a new Job at DMBA doing customer service. It is a fantastic job and a great company to work for.

In February, we celebrated our first Valentines Day as a married couple and Sam turned 24 on the 24th, causing me to give him more than one day of celebrations. I had to make a big deal out of it after all.

In March, we found out Stella (our Neon) had a bad transmission (even though she is still kicking today, we can’t drive her too far) so after much looking, we found ourselves a 2002 Honda Accord I named Lola. We love her. Also, we found a deal on a new Apartment, since our lease on our first one was ending. We got the free rent in March, so we got the apartment a little earlier than originally planned. But things worked out.

April we had to pay double rent (which we got back with our security deopsit) and spent the month moving from our old place to our new one. We miss our first apartment, but enjoy having all our own stuff in the new one.

May we both finished school. Sam for a few weeks till summer semester, me for a while longer since I decided English Lit wasn’t the way to go. I still can’t figure out what to do. We also celebrated our big One Year Anniversary! It was so wonderful. We also had another niece born, Emery Elizabeth Tappana, Tim and Ashley’s baby!

In June we had a fun time going to Taylorsville Dayzz and doing fun summer month activities! I love June and July!

July we celebrated my big 24 birthday. Later that month we took a family trip to Yellowstone. It was probably one of the most fun family vacations ever! We stayed in a super nice cabin in Island Park and hiked one of my favorite hikes I have ever been on, The Coffee Pots Trail. It was beautiful. We obviously went to Yellowstone and at the end drove to Jackson Hole and went to the Bar J. I still miss that vacation. Although when we got home I had the rude awakening of Jury Duty. Lame.

August we soaked in the last month of summer. Sam finished summer semester, and I…didn’t do much. Our place doesn’t have A/C, so we were both looking forward to cooler weather coming soon, although when summer comes to an end, it’s always sad.

In September, Fall semester started up for Sam again, and I, still not knowing what to do in life, made a plan of things to do while Sam was away including going to the gym more, learning how to cook better, be more crafty, and keep a tidy house. You know, wifey things. I also got a promotion at work. No more customers for me!

October is one of our favorite months. It is the month we always ended up getting together, and this October marked 9 years of the beginning of us. We also went down to Cedar City for our annual Homecoming Reunion, this year being another fun time. For Halloween, we dressed up as Ken and Barbie. The costumes didn’t turn out exactly how I wanted them to, but it was still super fun. And lastly, we had nephew number two, Brae George Thomas Bingham born, son of Jared and Emily.

November, another great month, we took our fun Christmas card pictures with the help of my brother Erik and had a fun weekend of Thanksgiving dinners with both sides of the family. We also got free Harry Potter movie tickets through Sam's work. I was one happy fan.

December we lost my granny. It was hard, but it was time for her to go home. Sam’s little brother Jake left for his mission to Toronto Canada. He is going to make an awesome missionary, although we do miss having him around. We also had a fun Christmas month, including an awesome Christmas party with my family in which Santa came, the yearly Voice Male Christmas concert that we went to with my sister Chelsea and her husband Tracy, also the annual Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert with David Archuletta, our second Christmas together which we were both spoiled, (I got Sam a Wii. He never expected it and his face was priceless) , we had a Lord Of The Rings marathon (which I kept falling asleep during…but come on, we started it late!) and we brought in the New Year with Sam’s half brothers who live in Oregon and California. It was fun spending time with family we rarely see!

The best part of 2010? We found out we are going to have a baby in July! It’s such a strange but wonderful feeling knowing we are going to soon have a third member to our family. We feel so blessed to bring a little baby in this world.

2011 is going to be awesome.