I just have to take a moment to brag about myself on this here blog of mine. I've been feeling down about myself and my image. I have been trying and trying to lose weight. I exercise like a maniac, I write down my food intake in My Fitness Pal, I try my hardest to stay within my calories (except on those darn weekends. I fail at those every time.) and, I am breast feeding, which is supposed to make you lose weight right? Well for me, it makes me 10X more famished, so naturally I eat more. Well, the scale hasn't been changing much, and the weight I do lose that takes so much of practically starving myself and working out really hard, seems to creep back on quickly in a moment of starved weakness when I just don't want to be careful anymore.
So, after feeling sorry for myself this weekend, I decided to go on a run Saturday. It was a warmer day, the air was clear, and there was that rainstorm smell coming in. So, I started to run. I ran, and I ran, and I kept running wondering when I was going to have to walk for a few minutes to catch my breath. It never came, until I had 5 more minutes left of my workout, but I pushed it. I ran those 5 minutes. I ran almost 3 miles straight. (my gps was waaay off. I later drove the route and it was like 2.9 miles. If I would have known that I would have kept running til I hit that 3 mile mark.) I don't know when the last time, if ever, I have been able to run that far without walking. I know 3 miles non-stop might not seem like that big of a deal to some of you, but to me it is. And it was fast for me too. I estimated my mile per minute to be about 10:30 maybe? I've never ran that fast.
So then it struck me. I may not be losing the weight I want as fast as I want, but I am at a really good personal fitness level, especially for having a baby that isn't quite 6 months old yet. It took me til Abby was at least a year to get to a point where I felt I was getting back into shape, and now my baby is 6 months and physically, I feel great.
I am thankful for my body. I am thankful for what it can do. I am thankful that it can have babies and I am equally thankful it can get back into shape. Maybe a day will come in my life where I will love the rolls too, knowing those partly come from growing a baby inside of me, (but mostly from the food inside me) but for now, I will keep exercising and trying to avoid overeating and someday, hopefully soon, I will completely love my body for what it is.