A Twin Birth-Part Two

I just had to document this one again because I'm huge

Its been a minute since I wrote part one of the twin birth, and to those of you that read this still, I'm so sorry! haha. 8 months later, and I feel like I can finally finish part two of the twins birth.

So there we were, waiting. I got changed into the hospital gowns and the nurses then came in and started getting me hooked up to everything. I was so swollen and so big that it was hard and painful to both move and sit still, as weird as that sounds. I could barely lift my legs and sitting in one position too long was sooo uncomfortable.

Of course both babies were hooked up to heart monitors, but every time I would shift (which was terribly hard) Baby A's (Ellie) heart rate would disappear and the nurses would have to come in to help me put it back on.

I remember as I was sitting there waiting, even though I was uncomfortable and even though I wanted it all to be over, hearing both babies heart beats was so surreal and so amazing. I was finally so close to meeting both my babies and I couldn't believe it.

Finally, contractions started getting harder, so I requested the epidural. I could have definitely handled more pain, but I was terrified of labor progressing too fast and not having an epidural, and for this delivery out of all my other ones I really didn't want to go without the epidural considering my breech baby would have to be pulled out!

Rolling over to lay on my side to get the epidural was comical.  Like I mentioned above, I could barely move due to largeness and being so incredibly swollen. I felt like a beached whale. Seriously. I'm not trying to be mean about myself. Its literally how I felt.

After the epidural was placed, the doctors decided to put in an internal heart rate monitor on Baby A, since it kept coming off. I remember that hurt pretty bad, so then i got scared that the epidural wouldn't work. I then frantically started pushing the epidural button to get more medicine, and my contractions were starting to get painful, but just on one side. The nurses then came in and checked me and all the sudden I was at a 10 and ready to push. Thank goodness I got the epidural when I did. But then I started to panic because I still felt everything on one side. I was terrified and just wanted to be numb. I knew that there was a higher chance of a C-Section, but also I knew this birth was going to be tricky, you know, doing it twice with a breech baby and all, and I was just all the sudden so scared. Thankfully, me and Sam had a moment alone before we were taken into the operating room, and he gave me a quick blessing of comfort.

You can see me clinging to Sams arm because I was so nervous

So now here is where things get a big foggy. Because of the higher risk of a c-section, I had to deliver in an operating room. So that meant that everyone had to wear scrubs and i had to put a cap on my head. Thankfully, as this chaos was going on the epidural finally kicked in all the way and for the first time in MONTHS, I was comfortable. Months.

So there we were in the operating room, and it was a full show. So many people were in the room with me. There were two full nurseries (one for each baby in case there were complications) 2 doctors, tons of nurses, maybe another anesthesiologist? I can't remember, but the room was so crowded, and there I was, sitting on the operating table so nervous. I knew I was in good hands, but I could NOT stop shaking. They gave me a blanket while I waited, but the nervous/cold shaking wouldn't stop.

This doesn't even do justice to all that were in the operating room, but it was my most flattering picture

Finally I was ready to push. First out came Ellie. Her birth was quick. After she was weighed, I remember Sam being able to hold her, although Sam isn't sure he remembers that. I could be remembering it wrong. Like I said, things are kind of foggy at this point in my memory. Not only because it was so long ago, but because it was just a whirlwind of activity going on. Anyway, my doctor was absolutely amazing, and started working immediately on getting Josie out. Its a good thing I was numb because she reached right up and started pulling Josie out by her feet. I was able to kind of relax for a bit there, and then I had to do some little pushes. 6 minutes after her sister, Josie then made her entrance into this world doing the splits.She was born with some meconium in her mouth, so they had to take her and immediately scoop her out/massage her. I remember being pretty nervous that she wasn't crying, but  before long, she was crying and being weighed and measured, then both babies were ready to be held by me.

When the babies were placed on my chest, it was the most bizzar feeling in the world. I did it. I successfully grew and birthed two babies. I finished the most hard thing that I had ever done up to that point, and honestly- I rocked it. I was seriously so amazed and thankful that my body was so strong and did what it was meant to do without terrible complications. And now I had TWO BABIES!! And to me, the hardest part was over.

I am also so thankful for my amazing doctor, Dr. Natalie Loewen. She was so great. I trusted her and never felt like she did any "unnecessary" procedures. She was confident in her work and in herself as she had successfully birthed many twins before mine, and she was confident in me. Because of that, I was able to have a wonderful birthing experience.

Baby A, Eleanor Kaye Tappana, was born at 3:02 pm, weighing 6 pounds and 11 oz, 20.5 inches long. Baby B, Josephine Kate Tappana, was born at 3:08, weighing 6 pounds and 10 oz, 19 inches long. They were my smallest babies for sure. But I am so thankful they were both still really good sizes.

After the birth and everything got cleaned up, I was shaking still for the longest time. i Ijust so cold, but I was able to hold my babies and be wheeled back into my room. I remember getting congratulations from other nurses walking the halls. The nurses that was in my room would tell of how awesome I did, and that  made me feel pretty great.

The rest of the hospital stay wasn't too exciting. The babies kept choking on amniotic fluid and had to be suctioned out, and I got the flu the second night there. But besides the flu, eating was my favorite part. I had a stomach again and food tasted amazing! When time came to go home though, I was so ready!! I didn't care for many of my nurses while in recovery. They really weren't as awesome as my L&D nurses, so I was really anxious to get home and stop being disturbed all night, by someone other than the twins. Plus, I missed my 3 at home. So even though taking care of 2 babies plus the older 3 scared the crap out of me., I knew I could do it, because I had already survived a twin pregnancy. I could do anything. And so far, almost 8 months later, I still have 5 alive and happy children.

A Twin Birth-part one

The birth of Eleanor and Josephine is probably one of my favorites. One of the (many) reasons why I was nervous to give birth to twins is because I knew this was going to be my last pregnancy, and I love giving birth, so I was afraid that the birth wouldn't go as planned. Ultimately, I knew the end result of healthy babies was the goal, but I was still so nervous about early labor and/or a c-section, and I selfishly wanted one last final good birth experience, and I was blessed enough to get it. In fact, I was blessed enough with a healthy twin pregnancy. No bed rest. No early labor. Really, no major health problems at all, and for that I am truly so blessed.

Our very first sonogram, when we were shocked to learn we were growing twins

 So, as I was getting further along, we set an appointment to be induced with my doctor; October 6th, where I would be 38 weeks along. It couldn't come soon enough!! Well, one night I was scrolling through the feed in a facebook group I'm in called "Mormon Moms of Multiples" when I stumbled across a girl that had her babies at 37 weeks due to Cholestasis. The typical sign of it is intense itching on the hands and feet, but hers was just on her stomach. My stomach itched like crazy, but I just chalked it up as a growing stretching stomach. But still, I googled more symptoms and another symptom was dark pee. Mine basically looked like apple juice no matter how much I drank, so I decided at my next appointment I would just bring it up to my doctor. She thankfully listened and ordered me a lab and they called the next day saying I did in fact have Cholestasis and that I would be induced in a week. I was shocked that something I googled I actually had, because usually its me being paranoid. I had 7 more days of being pregnant ever and I couldn't have been happier. Of course, I did worry about NICU time, but since Cholestasis can be fatal to the babies after 37 weeks, I knew the possibility of a little NICU time was preferable.

Andy spent the Wednesday before we had the babies throwing up

So, we spent that week preparing as much as possible and had one last date night to the only place that ever sounded consistently good: Bombay House. A few days before my induction, my kids got a nasty flu, so that was pretty stressful, but other than that, the week was great and it flew by. Thursday night, the 28th, I got a phone call with instructions for my induction, saying I had to be ready by 6am on Friday the 29th. We spent Thursday cleaning, and I spent a good part of the night crying. I was nervous and the realization hit that I would never just have 3 kids again, and that Andy would no longer be my baby. I cried a lot, especially when Sam played Enya and when we put the kids to bed. That night I actually slept better than I had in weeks, which surprised me, and when my 5am alarm went off, I excitedly popped out of bed and got ready to be ready to leave by 6 just in case. My mom headed over and we all sat around until about 8:30 when the hospital finally called and told me to be there between 9:15 and 9:30. So we said our goodbyes to the kids and headed over to the hospital at 9.

We checked in, and headed to my room in Labor and Delivery where they got me all set to start being induced, and there we waited.

37 weeks pregnant

Such an unflattering picture of me, but shows my hugeness. 

Part two coming soon!

Andrew Samuel Tappana: 18 Months

My favorite little boy is now a year and a half. Its pretty crazy to think that I've only had him for 18 months, yet it seems like he has always been around.

I know I've mentioned this before, but I did not want to have a boy. I pictured myself having all girls, because I already had two and I knew how to raise girls. I didn't know how to entertain a busy boy and I was scared in my ability to do so. I cried in the ultrasound when I found out and the last half of my pregnancy was filled with anxiety, because I thought I wouldn't be good enough. And then they laid my chunky 9.5 pound boy on my chest in the hospital and all those fears and anxiety melted away. I was immediately smitten and have been ever since.

Andy has brought nothing but joy into this house. Well, joy and a bit of frustration at times, lets be honest. I never knew how different a little boy could be from my girls, but he is so different in so many ways!! I love it!!

Andy loves carrying around sticks. You will usually find him with one in each hand. I frequently find them in my house and have to throw them outside while I'm cleaning. He laughs when he toots, and the other day as I was getting him ready for the bath, he peed all over the floor and thought it was hilarious. He loves driving cars on the floor and he has a pretty good arm when he throws balls. One of his most favorite things to do is play catch. I've had many balls hit me in the face or neck or chest because I'm not paying attention to his throwing. On the other hand, we will find him also cuddling the girls dolls, which is adorable.

Andy is also trouble. He does things my girls have NEVER done. He won't stay off the table. If someone is sitting at the table, he climbs right up and walks around. He's even fallen off (thank goodness not too injured) and doesn't learn. He will climb back up. He also colors on things. I think I caught each of my girls coloring on something they shouldn't maybe one time each. He is frequent. The other day, I walked in to the living room by finding blue chalk drawn on the floor, on the rocking chair, and on the couches with him smiling, still holding the blue chalk.He also loves playing in things he shouldn't, like toilets, and when we catch him he hurries and gets as much play in as he can before we grab him.

Some of Andys favorite things include: me and Sam. He loves both of us pretty equally now. But usually at night once Sam is home, he spends most the time with him, which makes me happy. He loves cuddling. He will frequently come up to me and wrap his little arms around my neck and puts his head on my shoulder and just sits there. I can't get enough of it. He loves his big sisters and he loves ruining his big sisters games by taking their dolls or barbies or whatever they are playing with. He loves his morning chocolate milk and freaks out if I don't get it to him fast enough. He loves playing peak-a-boo by hiding around walls and popping his head out or squatting down behind the couch or his crib and popping up. He loves helping me unload the dishwasher, which is super cute, and he loves messing up my laundry as I try to fold it.  And he LOVES his binkies. I used to be so strict on no binkies in the day time by this age. But right now, being pregnant and tired and all, I let it slide much to Sams dismay. He also loves books and will frequently stuff one in my hands and crawl on my lap. And he loves jumping off things in mine and Sams arms, or on soft cushions.

A few things Andy hates, which actually isn't too much: getting bathed. He likes the bath until its time to wash him, and then watch out world. Not getting his milk fast enough, as i mentioned above. We took him to nursery the past two Sundays. The first Sunday he was sad, but stayed in. This past week he cried the whole time. Hopefully he warms up to it fast. And he hates getting his face wiped off. Its the end of the world for him.

Andy doesn't say much yet. He grunts and points a lot and we can understand him. He uses his own sign language too, and we decipher that pretty well. But he can say "No" and does quite frequently. He says "uh-oh" when something drops, and he says "mama" really well. He also says "hot" when he sees things boiling on the stove or when he touches the hot sidewalk etc. But he is really smart and understands us a lot when we ask him to do stuff. He just knows that we can understand him when he grunts.

Andy, you are the best little boy this mama could ask for. You bring such a light and joy into our home, and keep us on our toes. Thank you for choosing us as your parents. I am the luckiest mom in the whole world!!!

Since I've been gone...

Wowza!! What a long leave of absence I took. I'd be lying if i said i will try and be a better blogger. Life is about to get crazier. But I'm going to do my best. For today, for your reading pleasure and for my posterity, here are the highlight's of our little family since I last blogged in December:

1. My boy turned one on January 10th. I kept meaning to blog about it, but i never did. We didn't do much. We were going to have a party, but then someone got sick so we had to cancel and we never rescheduled. Thankfully, he won't remember. I kept meaning to do an update of all the things he can do, because lets be honest; he is probably one of the cutest boys on the face of the planet, but I never did. I do have a goal of doing an 18 month update next month, so lets hope i can stick to it.

One years old!

2. On February 13th, I found out I was pregnant. I cried. A lot. I definitely wasn't ready to be pregnant so soon, but then i came to terms with it and got mostly excited for a new baby and to be done with having babies. Because pregnancy and me aren't friends. Also in February, Sam turned 31 and we went bowling. (and that was also the day my morning sickness hit with full force.)

3. At the end of March, i went in for my first doctors appointment with my midwives. The night before, i had a dream i was having twins. As the midwife was giving me an ultrasound, I joked with her about it being twins. She admitted she wasn't good at ultrasounds and ordered me one because you know, my dream. I honestly didn't think anything of it. I thought, since it was my 4th and final kid, she was ordering one for me for fun. Because the midwives are fun! And I went home that day with no other thoughts. The day of the ultrasound, Sam didn't even come because we had been there, done that 3 other times. On March 30th, I was back with the technician. She then got quiet, and just turned the screen around so I could see what she was seeing. Low and behold, there were TWO babies on the screen. I said "is that two babies." She nodded and congratulated me. I, on the other hand, started to cry. TWO BABIES? at once? I fought tears the rest of the time. She thought they were excited happy tears. (mind you, I do feel blessed to have babies, but I was terrified,) As i left, she congratulated me and said the rain boots i was wearing were my lucky boots. I drove home in silence and when I got home, with a tear-stained face, I just showed Sam the ultrasound pics. Oh how i wish i got his reaction on video. It was awesome!! We decided to tell our families on April fools day. I don't know if they appreciated it, but we did. 

4. May was a busy month for us. Both girls finished their school years. Maddie, the first year of preschool, Abby, Kindergarten. Their last days ended up being the same day and to say I was a wreck would be an understatement. I literally cried all. day. long. Mind you, double the babies, double the emotions. I've cried so easily and so often this pregnancy its ridiculous. I wasn't so sad about Maddie, because she has another year of preschool. But Abby is growing up. She is now in 1st grade and I can't even believe it. So yes, I cried all day over her and when i look back at pictures of her in school, i still get emotional. Its ridiculous. But that night we celebrated at (gross) Del Taco, as per request from my kids. (they have the best play place, according to them.)

 

We also celebrated our 8th anniversary, but as of yet haven't really gone out on a date for it, so that is still TBA.

Also on May 31, we had our 20 week ultrasound. Along with my heightened emotions, I have also had heightened anxiety. I've had 3 really healthy babies, so I just knew something would be wrong with the twins. So, after much gagging and nausea, me and Sam dropped the kids off at Grandma Nonies and went to the appointment. They scanned the first baby, and all seemed well (even though the technician isn't supposed to say much, I could tell by her face things seemed great.) And Baby A was a girl. I felt a bit of relief. Then she scanned baby b, which also seemed healthy, and Baby B also is a girl. Then she left, and we waited for the doctor. Just a few more minutes and i could relax. The doctor came in and said that both girls look fantastic and healthy and are growing amazing. What a relief!! I am so blessed to be able to grow healthy, happy babies!! And, I'm really good at making girls too.

 

Abby is thrilled they are both girls, Maddie is pretty sure one is still a boy, and Andy, he doesn't realize it yet, but he can't wait to be sandwiched between 4 amazing girls. And he is pretty happy that he will always be my favorite son. 

So, that sums up the main events of the Tappana family. Hopefully, I'll have more upcoming blogs about Andy and the pregnancy. We are pretty nervous to have 5 kids, 6 and under, but I know that we are meant to end our family with two babies. (because Heavenly Father has a sense of humor, and knows I wouldn't have a 5th pregnancy, so we get two!) I know things will also work out, because this is how it is supposed to be, but doesn't mean we aren't nervous. 

Oh, and as for names?

Eleanor Kaye

&

Josephine Kate

Well, thats all for now. This blog has gone on long enough. Stay tuned for more updates...hopefully.  

Madalyn Marie: 3 years old

I've been binge watching Fuller House over the weekend while i did my mountains of laundry. So the one phrase that comes to mind when I think of how long its been since I last blogged is "Oh Mylanta!" Because I have been wanting to blog about how sweet/sassy Maddie is for a while, but better late than never right?

Madalyn turned 3 years old on the 18th of August. And since then, she has turned into so much a threenager. But she is also the sweetest thing in the world.

Madalyn took a little bit of time to potty train, but she finally is, for the most part. She still has accidents when she is busy playing, and sometimes the toilet and going number 2 still scares her, but we do leave the house with undies and we don't buy pull-ups anymore. She is still in a diaper at night, but I'm ok with that for now.

The doll she got for finally being potty trained

Probably my all time favorite picture of her. 

Madalyn started preschool in September. I was so nervous for her to start, because she basically hated other kids. We would go and play at the playground, and if other kids were playing there, she would get so angry and not play near them. So I didn't know how she would do in preschool. But starting school was THE BEST thing for Madalyn. First of all, that's what helped her finally start to potty. But most importantly, she is friendly to kids now!! And she is so outgoing and not as shy. She will talk to strangers in line at the store, she plays beside other kids, and doesn't get mad at them, and she is just so friendly. Sure, she still has an attitude sometimes, but she is a three year old.

Mine and Sams phones are covered with Madalyn selfies

Maddie is super silly. She makes crazy faces,  and has the most contagious hard laugh.  You know she is in a good mood when she wakes up and automatically makes a goofy face. She learned how to go cross eyed not too long ago and now constantly does it.

Stealing her brother binkie and his swing. and mu makeup

If you let her, Maddie will talk your ear off. The other day at school, my sister said she was talking so much that she actually drooled on the ground, because she didn't even pause to swallow. She then looked at the floor, wiped her mouth with her sleeve, and kept going. Her stories usually start with "this one time" and then she will launch in a huge long adorable story.

Madalyn loves many things, some of which include: candy and anything sweet, Abby, (her idol) Andy, Youtube kids, The Chipmunks, Owlette from PJ Masks, the songs "Five Little Monkeys" and the Finger Family songs, carrots and ranch dip, watching movies/resting on mommy and daddies bed, all the superheros, but particularly Batman, and basically copying everything Abby does. Oh and she also loves potty humor and talking about poop. Oh boy.

She is such a beautiful, fun little three year old and I am so, so thankful she is ours. She makes my heart happy just when I simply look at her and she has a way of making my bad days better. Me and daddy love you Madalyn. Thanks for being wonderful.

Abbigale Mae-5 years old.

I'm only about 3 months late with this blog. Blogging has just been put on the back burner since starting work. Even reading blogs sadly has gone the way of the world. Which is a shame, because that is my favorite thing to do. So I'm going to try to get back into reading blogs. At least the blogs of my favorite people. Anyway, since i use these as journal entries, I decided it is time to update about my most favorite little 5 year old ever. 

Abby is sure a one of a kind little girl with a huge imagination. For her birthday she got a Baby Alive doll for her and basically treats that, along with several other dolls, as her children. Sometimes heading out of the house is tricky because we have to make sure she isn't sneaking too many dolls or doll accessories that will get lost and left behind. The two girls (but mostly Abby) treat their dolls Summer and Bailey as part of our family and i love it. Sometimes i hate it, but mostly, i love it.

 

Abby started Kindergarten this year. She is super smart and is loving learning how to read. However, she is also VERY social and the teacher had to talk to me about Abby not listening to her and talking to all her friends. She even had to leave class one day and brought home a note for me to sign. Now she has a little behavior sticker chart at home and when she fills that up from being good, she can get a toy. Last I spoke to her teacher Miss. King, she is getting better.

 

Her socializing isn't all bad though. She taught me a big lesson one day. She was at the park with one night with Sam while i was at work. Sam texted me that there was a little girl there. Abby said she wanted to show this little girl her doll Summer. Sam asked her if that little girl was her friend. Abby said "No, but i'm going to make her one." Seeing that text made me realize what a wonderful little girl I have, and taught me a lesson to always be friendly and seek out friendships rather than judging or being afraid that someone won't like me. 

Abby is into boys a ton lately. And marriage. She can't wait to get married. One of the boys in our ward, who happens to be in her class, is her supposed boyfriend. She is constantly talking about Logan and how she is in love with him and how they will be getting married when they are older. "but not for a long time because i'm not ready to have kids yet mom." Here is a conversation i had over text with Logans mom.

Me texting Amy: "mom, did you know when i first saw Logan I fell in looooove with him? Thats why he's my boyfriend."

Amy: Logan: "Mom, i am not her boyfriend and we are not in love. She told everyone at school that! Its embarrassing!" 

Haha. He is a good sport though it seems, since they are still friends and still like to play. I did have to tell her to tone it down at school and maybe stop telling every one they are boyfriend and girlfriend.  And apparently, he has wedding rings for both of them and picked out the temple they will get married in. He just doesn't want to do the whole boyfriend thing first. Oh these kids are adorable.

You can totally see how nervous these two look to start kindergarten.

Other things abby loves: the kids youtube, her barbies, her brother and sister, swimming, playing at the park, socializing/being anywhere but home. (which is hard on her introvert mom) Mario,  ramen noodles, chocolate, kids meals from Old McDonalds, donuts, peppers, raw green beans, her daddy, taking showers and princesses. 

As you can see by her face, maddie Adores her big sister too.

She is such a huge helper to me, and has often helped me with the younger two if i am busy with something. (she has changed multiple poopy diapers for me without me asking, because she knows i would tell her she didn't have to) She has helped maddie go potty, calmed down Andy when i can't, even has fed him at night while Sam has been busy doing things. She is such just such a wonderful child and I am so glad she is ours forever. I love you Abbigale Mae, to the moon and back. 

Half a Year

I can't believe my sweet baby boy is already 6 months old. These 6 months flew, and he is already well on his way to turning a year and I don't know how i feel about that. When i found out Andy was a boy, I was kind of devastated. I wanted all girls. I knew girls. I can admit this now, because it was obviously a hormonal, irrational fear, because I seriously cannot get enough of my baby boy. He has my heart in a way his sisters don't. (they both have my heart in different ways too, obviously. I wish everyone could at least have one of each!)

At 6 months old, Andy:

• Loves me more than anybody else. I'm sure that will change when he realizes Daddy is into sports/can actually play said sports with him. But for now, I will take being his most favorite thing on the face of this planet.
• He still loves to nurse, and only nurse. He will take a bottle, but not very well, and he pretty much hates baby food. Except bananas. He will sort of eat those.
• He had his first camping trip, and handled it like a champ.
• He can roll front to back, is good at arching his way out of his bouncer, and can sit up on his own for a couple of seconds before toppling over and getting very upset about it
• He smiles very easily, but it takes a lot for him to laugh, and when he does laugh its pretty much just a chuckle.
• One time he chuckles pretty good is when i am wiping his bum after pooping. Seriously. He just sits and chuckles as i clean him up. Whether it tickles, or he is rubbing it in that he just pooped, I don't know. But its adorable and hilarious.  
• He makes the most adorable baby sounds, and I just can't get enough of his cute little voice!
• He sleeps super well. I can put him in his crib at nap and bed time, and he will just grab his blanket, put it over his face, and falls asleep almost immediately. Sometimes he sleeps all night, but usually he wakes up between 4 and 6:30, eats, and then falls back to sleep. I definitely don't hate it. The only time he has been up multiple times lately is over the 4th, when he was cutting a serious tooth and was miserable. 
• He loves to grab things. Anytime i am holding him and i take a drink of something, he is quick to grab my cup or water bottle and slobber all over it, and he likes his toys very much. 
• He loves to stand look around. i need to get him one of those jumper bouncy things. He also hates to be in my ergo. He might like it better if it faced forward, but he hates being confined and facing me. Yet he loves to be held. Come on boy. Mama can only do so much!
• He has two adorable bottom teeth, and surprisingly has only bitten me a couple of times. I think he must know if he starts to bite, its bye bye nursing, hello bottle. 

I sure do love my little boy. I can't get enough of his fuzzy head and big blue eyes. He is my favorite little dude in the whole wide world!!